As a mother of three kids under the age of six, ensuring that they slept through the night as early as possible was a priority for me so that I could function. Luckily, all of them slept a full 6 or 7-hour stretch by ten weeks of age. Even my 3 year old is still a terrific napper and goes down several hours in the afternoon. What's the secret? Truthfully, I use a straightforward method that is pretty simple.
First, babies and kids need a consistent routine. Make sure they have dinner, take their bath and go to bed at the same time every day. Do everything possible to stick to this daily schedule, so that they always know what to expect next. For example, my toddler knows that after lunch that it's time for a nap. I don't even need to tell him-HE asks me for the nap! He just knows that this is the next step in the day for him. I don't need to battle him into a few hours of shut-eye, and he actually loves his naps.
With babies, you should establish a routine early as well. When they're ready for bed (usually around 8 pm at our house), breastfeed or give them a bottle, put on a fresh diaper, turn on their mobile, put them in their crib and walk away. If they've had a busy day, they should be fairly exhausted by this point and ready for a snooze. The most important thing to take note of is that if they cry, DO NOT go back into the room to pick your baby up. Let your baby cry himself to sleep.
Yes, some of you might think it sounds like an awful thing to do to a helpless little baby, but if you want to keep your sanity and have your baby sleep through the night-you can't veer from the plan. Even at the tender age of only a few weeks, babies are master manipulators. No, they're not devilish deviants trying to push your buttons on purpose, but they are smart. They quickly figure out that if they cry and you come running to scoop them up that they have the upper hand.
Typically, within 5 to 20 minutes after you've put your baby down she will stop crying and soothe herself to sleep. This is a very important concept to take note of, because you shouldn't let a baby fall asleep in your arms every night and then put her in her bed. What will quickly happen is that the baby will not be able to sleep unless she's done so in your arms first. It might seem cute at the beginning, but be warned that you are creating an arduous habit to break if you allow this happen. Kids of all ages should always be put to bed awake (but tired) in their own beds to sleep.
When you start this new routine, your baby might whine a bit until he gets used to the pattern. After a few weeks, they quickly get into it. I promise. So, if you've put your baby to bed at 8 pm or whatever time works in your household, you can then go about your nightly business. Enjoy time with your spouse, watch some TV, catch up on some work or exercise. Do whatever makes you happy during YOUR time while your kids are asleep.
Next, when you are ready to go to bed, (which for me is somewhere between 11 pm and midnight), I carefully pick up my baby without rousing him to much out of his sleepy state. I change his diaper and then give him a final breast or bottle feeding for the evening. This ensures his belly is full so that he can go the distance of sleeping for up to 7 or more hours into the evening. When he's done eating, just pop him back into his crib and close the door and walk away again. If he cries out in the middle of the night, DO NOT go into the room! Again, just let him soothe himself to sleep. Of course, the later you can do this last feeding, the later in the morning your baby will wake up the next stay-so do keep that in mind. You don't want to do that last feeding too early and then have baby wake up at 4 am to start her day!
What you should be grasping here is that the method to getting your kids to sleep well through the night is simply to let them fall asleep on their own-even if that means a little bit of crying until they get used to the routine. Sounds mean? For new parents this may be difficult to hear, as they inevitably go running whenever their baby whimpers. Within days, your baby has caught onto this game where he ends up the winner, and you look like an automaton as you lug yourself into work on two hours sleep.
This process of helping your child sleep through the night is popularly known as the Ferber Method. Dr. Ferber is a renowned American pediatrician who helps sleepy parents get some rest by letting their kids soothe themselves to sleep. The doc is controversial because there are many parents who feel that it is a felony to let their little angel sob for even a second without mommy racing in to see what's happening. I can assure you that after two months of doing this, you will be unable to function normally through the day without crying because you are so worn out. It's not healthy for you to not get any sleep, and you certainly won't be a good parent to your kids if you're walking around like a grump.
The Ferber Method does not suggest you let your kid shriek it out for an hour. If your baby hasn't fallen asleep in 20 minutes, by all means go into his room to make sure he's not famished or has a polluted diaper. If everything looks okay when you go in and check on the baby, then simply close the door and walk away. It may take several weeks of this process for your baby to get the idea of falling asleep on his own, so be patient. Just don't give up and revert to picking your baby up to quiet him down.
The idea is to leave your baby's room without a sense of guilt. What you are doing isn't a bad thing, it's helping your baby figure out how to sleep well-which will be helpful to him throughout his life.
Lisa Freeman is a writer for My Baby Clothes Boutique where you can shop for designer baby hats.
